The hardest thing about trust is that it’s so easy.
Just accepting that God has all the fuzziest parts of my existence under control involves way too much resignation. It’s so much simpler to worry, to lie awake at night and wonder how it can possibly all turn out okay, to pick at my meals, to be short with friends, to sneak away early from parties and sob during my commute home from work. None of that requires any stretching on my part. As long as I can panic and imagine the worst-case scenario in every situation, I can continue to be myself, and I can be comfortable.
Please, just don’t ask me to trust that God the Father loves me and will take care of me.
Don’t ask me to accept all things with joy, because they are his will.
The effort involved in letting go of my sense of control might just break me.