The hardest thing

The hardest thing about trust is that it’s so easy. 

Just accepting that God has all the fuzziest parts of my existence under control involves way too much resignation. It’s so much simpler to worry, to lie awake at night and wonder how it can possibly all turn out okay, to pick at my meals, to be short with friends, to sneak away early from parties and sob during my commute home from work. None of that requires any stretching on my part. As long as I can panic and imagine the worst-case scenario in every situation, I can continue to be myself, and I can be comfortable.

Please, just don’t ask me to trust that God the Father loves me and will take care of me. 

Don’t ask me to accept all things with joy, because they are his will. 

The effort involved in letting go of my sense of control might just break me. 


2 thoughts on “The hardest thing

  1. Father, at today’s mass, commented on St. John’s first letter. He said, “it’s is basically this: God loves you, so you must love your brother. This is the most basic and most simple definition of Christianity.”

    What occured to me, based on this message in his homily was this: If we are doing this basic, much more will follow, more easily that we can imagine. This blog entry made me think, “If I was spending more time loving my brothers and sisters, I would have less time to worry, fret, be concerned about my future. Doing these things less would automatically produce more trust in the Father.”

    It’s easy for any of us to say we are not trusting enough. I would agree with that in my own life, but if I’m busy doing God’s work, most importantly demonstrating my love for God’s children here, then I’m automatically trusting in his plan for me.


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