Anonymous guest post on living in the gap

This post was sent in response to our profiles request, but the writer has asked to remain anonymous. Some great thoughts on how we’re not alone during this time of singleness — and we can (and should) be using it to grow in selflessness. –Mabel

 

But you are not alone in this / and you are not alone in this / as brothers we will stand and we’ll hold your hand / Hold your hand  – “Timshel” by Mumford and Sons

My life as a single person comes with many struggles, but I am not alone. Emmanuel, God with us!

I don’t know if I expected this time of singleness, but I do know that I am grateful for this time. This time of singleness has really allowed me to grow in my relationships with others, and ultimately with God. 

In high school and college, friendships were easier to cultivate. I loved others very similar to myself. It helped that we lived close to each other and communication did not require a lot of thought. During those years, I was single and so were a majority of my friends. I am still close with many of my high school and college friends, but we are removed enough from college that not all of our life experiences are as common. And, that is a good thing. I have needed this time to grow more deeply with those who hold my hand from afar.  

The place I chose to live after college is neither close to home or college, but I have been blessed with new friendships. These friends have been very instrumental in my transition into adulthood. 

Married, single, old, and new friends alike have given me time, faith, beautiful conversation, and forgiveness. All of which have made me keenly aware of the selfishness that I so easily fall victim to living a single life. That selfishness is isolating, but they keep me close in the midst of all of their struggles and mine. These friendships have contributed largely to my fulfillment because they are all gifts from God, and have brought me closer to Him. 

 

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Profile #6: George Jin

Profiles in the Gap

George Jin

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George Jin is an engineer living and working in the Washington, D.C., area.

Hey all!

So Mary Beth approached me and asked me to reply to some of her questions for the project that she has. I thought it was a great idea, so much so I didn’t mind taking a few minutes out of my day and sharing bits of myself in her project. Just a bit of info about myself, I am a graduate of the University of Maryland with a BS in Mechanical Engineering. Hope you all enjoy!

Did you expect this time of singleness? 

Yeah, I guess so. I am a really methodical and meticulous person, so acting emotionally and jumping into things quickly is not my way of living. Besides I’m in my 20s! This is the time to enjoy my free time, flexibility and friendships.

If so, is it what you expected it to be? If not, what did you expect, and has the change been exciting or disappointing? 

No, to be honest. I expected to be single, or maybe in a relationship that would blossom into something well over time. But young professional life is hard! What have changed things are the friendships that I have developed in my community. It makes life, and singleness, much, much better. So much so it has brought me to the point where it has changed my life and how I view things. I would probably be making bad decisions and very lonely if I didn’t have good friends around me.

Do you seek or find fulfillment in your career? If so, can you elaborate? If not, where do you seek / find it? 

Do I find fulfillment in my career? Not really, and that’s a very hard realization to come to as a young professional. Again, having a friend to share that with and talk to makes life much, much better and easier to cope with. My previous job was in the for-profit world. I think it’s a compelling thing to have people focused on one goal: making money/profit. We all need money to live (pay rent, etc.). But for me, that’s not enough. I want to really help people. So at the moment I find that fulfillment at my parish with the men’s group that I lead and volunteer activities in Anacostia.

Does faith play a role in your actions and your outlook on your life as a single young adult?

Oh yeah, for sure. With all the changes and things that young professionals have to go through, like unemployment, loneliness, finding their passion, etc., I would have been in a pretty tough place if I didn’t have God and friends around me. It’s great having friends and people that genuinely listen to me and empathize with me. They most likely are going through the same thing. And that makes me feel like I am not alone! That really has helped me through it all. Don’t get me wrong, because of my faith, God has not exempted me from suffering. It just has changed the way I react to it.

Since you have this time, what are some challenges you give yourself? If you didn’t have to worry about failure, what would you do with this time that you might be putting off out of fear?

  1. A challenge that I am constantly confronted with is that of patience (I’m in my 20s!). One big thing I have learned is that if you see meaning in suffering and have the patience and grit to see it through, things will work out in the end. This sort of behavior also brews a ton of compassion.
  2. What if I didn’t have to worry about failure? Boy that’s a tough one, geez, Mary Beth (haha kidding!). I would probably have more faith in God. Sometimes it can be really tough to let go and not be in control.